Y’all parenting is kicking my butt lately. Is it the pandemic? Is it the winter blues? Is it the fact that my kids are basically adults now and this stage is just hard? Maybe a combination of everything all at once and this trifecta has got me questioning my parenting skills.

I remember when they were babies and the rough days of no sleep, feedings every 3 hours, blow out diapers. I remember thinking, will it ever end? And it did. Days turned into weeks that turned into months. Looking back those first few years flew past. The toddler years approached and you had this awesome little creature with a huge personality. Along with that came all the bumps and bruises, constantly saying no, and baby proofing all the things. Before we knew it, the school years were upon us and things got real. We really had to step up our game because now there was scheduling playdates and extracurriculars. There was homework and tears over homework. There were due dates and sibling fights and school drama. We worried about screen time and social acceptance and current trends. And in another blink of an eye, they were teenagers.

Folks, I’m here to tell you that you need to brace yourself. Not only does this happen in warp speed, it’s super hard. I’m trying not to be like one of those sweet, old ladies that says “oh honey, you’re gonna miss this” because you’ve all heard it and there are probably parts that you are already missing. The other night I turned to my husband and said “I’d take a toddler tantrum any day over this teenage bullshit.” Thinking back to what I thought was hard then was actually a piece of cake. Now when I was in the trenches of the those earlier stages, I probably would have told you that you were crazy. And at that point, whatever stage we were in, was truly the hardest. We really didn’t know what we were doing and here we are again. But guess what? Now our kids are old enough to know!

Now I want to point out that I have great kids. They truly are amazing, they’ve never gotten in any trouble, they are good citizens, hard workers and overall nice people. This really isn’t even about them but more this stage of their life. In the next few months, my babies will be 16 and 20. Again, not sure how it happened and I don’t like it one bit, yet here we are. I won’t even be able to say I have teenagers. Do I say, this is my teenager and my adult child? How does this work? And the one teenager I have left is bigger than me and is basically a man child. I think I’ll just stick with “these are my babies” because really that’s what they still are. I just don’t know.

The decisions my kids are making right now will affect the rest of the lives. We are no longer dealing with which friend to take to a movie or which way to cut a PBJ. Now it’s about career choices, college degrees, apartment complexes, insurance. Adulting is not fun especially when you are helping someone else adult that doesn’t seem ready to do adulting stuff. Or maybe I’m not ready? They want to be independent but still want your help. They don’t want you in their room unless you are collecting dirty laundry. You want them to learn from your mistakes but they already know everything. They can make all the noise in the world at midnight but don’t you dare make a peep at 8:00 AM. It’s like living with a roommate that you love and would die for but you also want to punch in the face sometimes. But you also know that this roommate is eventually going to move out so you’re also super sad some days. Then they walk out of their room with a stack of dirty dishes and you are thrown right back into the present.

Each stage is hard. Parenting is hard. Babies and toddlers and adolescents and teens are hard. It’s all hard. Right now in this moment, it seems the hardest. Is this the point that I say it’s worth it? Absolutely. My kids are awesome and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I think we need to remember to look back at the hard moments we survived and remind ourselves that we can do it. And we need to look past the hard moments we are in now to the better moments ahead.

*Also if you are a teenager/young adult reading this, go tell your parents thank you! They are also figuring this out as they go!*